Unit 9 Project

Creating Wellness

Rachel Tracy

Kaplan University

  HW420-02: Creating Wellness-Psych. & Spirit. Asp. of Healing

John Aguilar, M.Div., Ph.D.

December 12, 2010

Creating Wellness

            As health care professionals, we spend our time caring for those around us.  Regardless of our role, a patient comes to us and we diagnose a problem and try to rectify it.  This method has served the Western World for centuries.  But, as we learn and grow we have to ask ourselves, is this enough?  Can we continue with this narrow view of ourselves and others?

            For health care professionals, it’s essential that we look at every aspect of humanity.  This includes looking at psychology, spiritual and the physical components of us and others.  To be able to help others effectively, these are areas we must first develop in ourselves.  According to Dacher, “ Unlike all other living beings, we are born with a unique and highly developed consciousness that endows human life with the capacity for language, creative imagination, self-reflection, discriminating intelligence, loving-kindness, and a good heart” (Dacher, 2006).  Considering we alone are capable of this kind of holistic capacity, we are compelled to create this sort of environment.  Not only for ourselves, but for those who surround us.

            One area I continually work on developing is my self esteem.  Something that I have lacked since childhood. It’s also something that affects my day to day life in that at times I find myself doubting my abilities.  Not only my ability to diagnose, but choosing the right treatment and convincing others that my choices are correct.  I always have reference books on hand, but just the feelings of trepidation when dealing with triage and acute situations overwhelm me at times.

            I have had issues spiritually in my life simply because I assumed spirituality solely revolved around God and religion.  As I get older I realize this is not true, that spirituality can mean many different things to everyone.  I do believe in God.  I began my life believing without question, went through tribulations that led me to question, then back to God again.   Essentially coming full circle with my beliefs.  I have witnessed some amazing things in my line of business that some people probably wouldn’t believe.  Things I may not have believed had I not witnessed it myself.  But more than that, I believe spirituality is all around us.  I see it in a thunderstorm, the phone call from my husband when somehow he senses I am in an emotional crisis.  The sound of my daughter’s singing coming from the back seat when she doesn’t think I can hear her.  Watching the sunset from my back deck and just being thankful that I have a back deck and a beautiful home that I worked hard for.

            I have worked hard my entire life, an innateness that I inherited from my father.  It’s also something I inadvertently looked for in a spouse and something I instill in my daughter.  I feel strong in my core, but I know that as I have gotten older, I have gotten softer.  I took my physical well being for granted in my youth, which is normal I think.  The older I get, the more important it becomes and the more difficult it is to maintain.  I know every time I go to my doctor I will be lectured.  I need to lose weight and I need to stop smoking.  I do feel better on the days I get up and exercise, I feel stronger, lighter, prettier and ready to take on the world.  Who wouldn’t want to feel like this every day?

            To begin this journey I have set goals.  Spiritually, my goal has been to really listen and pay attention to everything around me and how it all relates to one another.  By doing this, I believe it will help me understand the oneness of our connections and truly appreciate the beauty within myself and my surroundings.

            Psychologically I need to work on my self esteem.  I need to feel ok within my own mind and have the power for my convictions.  I also struggle with taking the time for my own mental health.  Usually what happens is I reach a breaking point and realize I have nothing left to give.  It’s only at that point do I realize the situation I am in and allow myself the time to turn off the phone, take a day off work and just do something for myself that I enjoy.  I realize that waiting until the breaking point doesn’t help me at all.  I need to replenish my capacities on a regular basis, this way I do not reach crisis points and I can better care for others.

My goals physically are to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle.  I know that the only way to do this is with diet and exercise.  But more than that it’s a lifestyle change and something I will choose for life.  I have to eat healthy every day; I have to exercise consistently and continue to challenge myself.  Smoking is a difficult area for me.  I rationalize that I do not smoke that much and frankly I enjoy it.  I have to make that mental change, re-record that tape in my head, and focus on the reasons to stop.  My family, my health, my patients.

So this means I need to give myself positive reinforcement instead of negative.  I need to tell myself all of my achievements repeatedly until I accept the fact that I am worthy.  If I do make a mistake, I need to learn from it after I realize that everyone is fallible, even me.  But I can take the negative and turn it into a positive.

I need to set aside a couple of hours every week for just myself.  I have learned that I can’t help others if I don’t take care of myself.  This means rejuvenating my psyche on a continuous basis so that I don’t burn out.  Meditation has not worked for me up to now, so this is something I will continue to work on.  I will also continue to get lost in my books.  This is something I have done since the age of ten and I feel it’s cultivated to a science.  Strange as this may sound, I joke that I am a professional reader that is how important it is to me.

Lastly, I have become best friends with my tread mill.  I know using my tread mill daily is something I will have to labor with daily.  Not the actual act of doing it, but the motivation I need daily to get it done.  Another goal I have is to instill the same in my daughter.  I plan on taking walks with her, something we enjoy.  This will not only help physically, but potentially bring us closer together and give us the opportunity to bond on a deeper level.  She and I are buddies and spend most of our time together because my husband travels for work.  My concern stems from the fact that she is moving into the teenage years and I want to ensure that bond is strong.  In addition, my shopping and cooking needs to become healthier.  Not just for myself but my family as well, improving everyone’s health and well being.

One of my concerns regarding evaluating my commitment to these changes is that six months is a long time from now.  I have to focus on making daily choices, weekly planning and focusing on what needs to be done.  So, I need to plan out grocery trips and making lists prior to going.  I must get up every day with the intention of doing some form of physical exercise.  I must also daily set aside time for myself to decompress or escape so I can rest my mind.  I will be the most useful to my family, patients and myself if I am able to rejuvenate spiritually and begin anew every morning.

So in six months time I should be lighter in mind, body and soul.  There will be simple ways to gauge my success.  The numbers on the scale will be blissfully smaller.  My hair will be shinier and skin more translucent from healthy eating and exercising.  In overcoming my insecurities and dealing with stress in an efficient manner my mind will be clearer.  This will be apparent in the decisions I make and the image I will portray.  I will be confident in myself and my decisions.  Lastly, by taking care of my soul I will be able to care for those around me.  By doing all this I will not be exhausted on my drive home at the end of the day.  I will walk around portraying openness and love.  I will leave a trail of happiness and satisfaction with people knowing that I am truly interested and invested.  And if I’m really good, I will need to buy new clothes!

References

Dacher, E. S. ( 2006). Integral health: the path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc

Practices with Benefits

  My first choice was easy, a subtle mind.  Taming mental activity, stopping the constant chatter, creating a calming, inviting gray matter, greatly appeals to me.  I think this will also help in my daily struggles in caring for others.  One thing I have taught my daughter is to never speak out of anger, and this is something I have trained myself to do as well.  I believe allowing yourself the time to clear your mind of nonsense, truly listening to what is going on (or nothing if applicable) will allow you the much needed tools to assess and address any situation.  In the end making yourself more focused and in a better position to care for others effectively and efficiently.

I admit I struggled with the other practices and never felt as if I was successful.  However, in choosing my second one, I would have to pick visualization.  I have been such an avid reader since a young age that my ability to envisualize things is not too shabby.  I am also able to re-live moments from my life pretty easily.  My husband makes fun of me sometimes because I call it thinking backwards.  When I can't remember something, I 'think backwards' and most of the time it works for me. 

I regret that I don't think I will be successful with mediation.  It's something I have struggled with through the last 7 weeks, and I find myself truly frustrated and not making progress.  I truly believe life will show me the way.

Unit 7

I have to admit that I continue to struggle with any form of meditative practice.  I am able to eek out a certain period of time, to calm myself, but withing minutes my mind is off and racing.  I have been getting up early every morning to use my new treadmill.  I have been trying to use this time for my meditation as well as finding quiet time.  I don't get frustrated during the process, but afterwards I become very frustrated in the fact that I can't focus long enough to benefit from it.  As I have said before, it's a work in progress and I will continue to practice.....  :)

 "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself” to me means essentially, practice what you preach.  This is another concept I struggle with because I believe we all have the right to chose how we live our lives.  This is something I deal with every day on an important level.  For example I got a new patient who is currently living with his son and daughter-in-law.  They have needed hospice services for this man for some time now, but have been afraid because they were sure once we saw the condition he was in, we would take him away and place him into a nursing home.  The bottom line is the patient and his family want to keep him home until he passes, and it's my job to ensure that happens.  I had a patient last year who was dying of lung cancer.  Every time I came to visit her, she would ask me to take her outside to smoke.  Why should I refuse her?  She wanted to live out her remaining days with what joy she could find and I am certainly not her judge and jury.  I had to fight with the lady who orders equipment at our office because I needed some expensive oxygen equipment so one of my patients could go out to dinner and gambling one last time with her husband before she died.  She never made it out, but you better know that oxygen was there at the ready in case she felt strong enough to go.

In my experience, it is more important to help people achieve their own happiness rather than preach at them and expect them to follow instructions.  That is not to say I do not educate my patients and their families on what is right, or the benefits of following guidelines etc.  But, after I educate I support their decisions.

Integral Assessment

I have had some better luck with this episode.  I was able to really sit in the quiet and not let my mind race a thousand places at once..... it's a work in progress.  One thing that I was not able to do was concentrate exactly where I wanted.  Instead I focused on those things in particular that are bothering me. 

For example I had to change one patients catheter 3 times this week, and I'm worried how everything is working over the weekend.  I also have another patient who has begun the dying process.  I know she is comfortable, but her daughter and the staff are very upset about everything.  I have been planning over the weekend an in-service for the staff about death and dying, so it's been playing heavily on my mind.

My husband has also been on my mind because he is on a trip out of the country and I know he will be very jet lagged.  And then there is my daughter, who is home with me alone this weekend.  I have been on call today and had to leave the house for about an hour.  She is old enough and mature enough to be ok, but the guilt I feel is tremendous.

So basically I guess I focus mainly on my priorities.  I think this is the main thing that has been preventing me from being successful with these exercises.  I need to continue working on getting control of my thoughts/mind.... again, it's a work in progress.  :)

RachelTracy2-HW420-02-unit5project.doc

A Suble Mind

I continue to struggle turning my focus inward and concentrating on not letting my mind wander.  These exercises are leaving me frustrated because I now fully realize how hard it is to turn my mind off.  I know that my mind races in moments of quiet, hence my insomnia issue.  But I think if I keep practicing I will eventually get there.

This past week has been especially difficult for me.  My 15th wedding anniversary was on 11/11 which is a big deal.  The problem comes from the fact that the 8th anniversary of my dad's passing was on 11/12.  I fully believe he waited until the next day so as not to upset my anniversary, but ti's hard to focus sometimes.  I have tried for the past 8 years to not let his passing "interfere" with my attitude.  Yes it was a devastating loss for me, a changing force in my life, but I can't let it destroy the good days.  So I do focus on the good while memorializing his passing in a more healthy way.  I think the years of doing this has certainly helped, so I'm very optimistic that the loving kindness and subtle mind exercises will be achievable for me as well.

The Act of Loving Kindness

One of the things I've noticed while doing these exercises is that while I may be able to relax, I'm having real difficulty with re-focusing my mind.  I like the theory of loving kindness as well as the exercise, but so far I haven't feasibly been able to do it.

Part of the problem I encounter is that the majority of my life is already spent taking care of others.  This past summer was particularly difficult both with work and illness in my own family.  I spent an inordinate amount of time traveling and struggling against the medical community.  During this period of weeks, my health took a nose dive.  I recognized it, but when your in the midst of adversity, it's not always possible to take a step back.  What I ended up doing was waiting until everyone had been taken care of, then I took a week off work.  I turned my phones off and only did things I found enjoyment in.  This made huge strides in replenishing my reserves, but I'll be honest, I still feel like I need another week.

I fully believe that the world would be a better place if we took the time to take care of one another.  This is where loving kindness comes into play, what a concept, being kind to one another.

A pattern that has come into focus for me is that I could truly benefit from Mental Workout.  My greatest escape/pleasure comes from reading.  I love being transported into the words of a book and leaving myself behind.  What I am realizing the further into the semester I go, is that my mental workout is severely lacking!  LOL  I need to work out my mind everyday just like any other muscle.  I think the best thing for me to do is just as the book states, starting with 15 minutes twice daily to begin my exercises.